Author and fellow blogger, Crystal Bowman, wrote a wonderful post this week offering a tip on dealing with sibling rivalry. She had heard this idea and decided to try it in her own home. Each of her three kids were child for a day twice a week, meaning they got to make the choices for activities such as what TV shows to watch and what music to listen to; but also had responsibilities like setting the table.
I got to thinking about this idea and how much I liked it, but then one other thing came to mind. In our home, we've always tried to keep things "fair" between the two girls. When it was the Lil Princess' birthday, the Lil Diva would get a small gift, and vice versa. Punishments are the same for similar infractions. If the Lil Diva signed up for an activity, the Lil Princess got to select one too. The challenge is that we've created such as strong sense of fairness in our home that they--especially the Lil Diva--can't accept when anything is unfair.
My mother's favorite saying was, "Life isn't fair." I find myself saying that more often as the girls grow and are exposed to different people and experiences. Did our parenting style turn fairness into a liability for our children: create an unrealistic sense of fairness that will be difficult for them to accept and overcome?
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