Kindle Bargain: Baby Bumps by Amy Sprenger

From the author of the award-winning blog Snarky Mommy comes a book that will make every woman who has ever been pregnant pee with laughter (not that that’s hard). Wearing her highest heels and hottest pregnancy jeans, Amy Sprenger marches into her doctor’s office, beverage in hand, ready to finally see whether her baby is a boy or a girl. Sure, sure, this appointment is supposed to be about checking the health of the baby, but everyone who’s ever been there knows it’s really about looking for what lays, or doesn’t lay, between the legs. So when the doctor tells her she has an incompetent cervix, Amy becomes immediately offended on behalf of her reproductive organs. Is that just a politically correct way of saying her cervix sucks?

Unfortunately, as she’s soon to learn, it’s a lot more than that. The only way to keep that baby from falling out on the sidewalk (probably in front of Starbucks) is for her doctor to stitch her cervix closed and for Amy to stay in bed for the next four months. Four months that are carefully detailed in this “memoir.” A memoir that, while basically true, has been embellished with Amy’s signature brand of humor and hilarity.

With more time off than a castoff contestant on "The Bachelor," Amy takes pen to paper and settles in for the ride. But instead of sitting around eating bonbons, she’s popping hypertension drugs to stave off preterm labor. And complications? Oh, she’s got your complications. She’s gut-rehabbing her house. Her mother moves in to care for her. Her husband takes a “mancation” while she’s stuck in the hospital. And every time she has a contraction, she’s convinced it’s The Big One.

Living by the adage that laughter is the best medicine, Amy fumbles her way through a series of sometimes serious and usually embarrassing situations. And just to be clear, using a bedpan qualifies as both serious and embarrassing.

"Amy Sprenger's foray into factual fiction is a hilarious (and sometimes poignant) look at high-risk pregnancy from her view at the end of the bed. Sprenger offers a fresh and funny voice that readers will love!" -- New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster

File Size: 1950 KB
Print Length: 207 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1937349446
Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
Publisher: Sheffield Publishing Group (September 2, 2015)
Publication Date: September 2, 2015
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
Language: English
ASIN: B014U5MJUE


Purchase here for only 99 cents!

Gift Idea: The Ideal Christmas Gift Book Edited by Jerry Baxter (Free for Kindle)

Everyone wants a book for Christmas - but there are just so many out there! How do you choose the perfect book for Mum, Dad, son, daughter, best friend, teacher, the guy across the street, the woman who looked after your dog that time? Well, worry no more, because we’ve written The Ideal Christmas Gift Book.

This ideal gift is aimed at everyone from ages 10 to 110, and is such a perfect blend of Christmassy facts, jokes, puzzles, quizzes and more, that we guarantee* everyone will find something in it to make them smile. What’s more – in the spirit of Christmas we’ll be donating 75 cents to charity for every book sold.

The Ideal Christmas Gift Book… So good, that even Santa bought a copy.

*not an actual guarantee – although it did make our Grandpa smile and he’s really grumpy, so we’re pretty confident.


***** FIVE STARS - "A genuine delight" - J.A. Schneider, Amazon
***** FIVE STARS - "movie puzzles are awesome! ...the publishers donate some of the profits to charity, very cool" - H, Amazon
***** FIVE STARS - "If this book doesn't lift you up in the spirit of Christmas, then nothing will" - ELP, Amazon
***** FIVE STARS - "an ideal stocking filler" - HM Lee, Amazon UK
***** FIVE STARS - "Great all-round family fun" - Leanne Masters, Amazon UK
***** FIVE STARS - "loved doing the puzzles in this book" - Katherine Small, Amazon UK

From the Author

We raised money for a mental health charity, an Alzheimer's charity, and a book festival last year. This year we're planning on supporting charities that provide meals for those in need, so if you do buy the book, many, many thanks!

File Size: 6324 KB
Print Length: 130 pages
Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
Publisher: Candescent Press (October 11, 2015)
Publication Date: October 11, 2015
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
Language: English
ASIN: B016JC9YRW


Purchase your copy here!

Mailbox Monday - October 26

Mailbox Monday is a meme started by Marcia of To Be Continued. Mailbox Monday is the gathering place for readers to share the books that came in their mailbox during the last week. It now has a permanent home at the Mailbox Monday blog.

Warning: Mailbox Monday can lead to envy, toppling TBR piles, and humongous wish lists.

It is a beautiful fall day in New England. This is the view from my office window. It makes me thinks of Anne Shirley inviting Gilbert to go for one of their "old time rambles in the woods."

Life is hectic these days: a lot of working, but not much reading and even less blogging. It seems, however, that I am getting more books than ever. Here is what has arrived in one form or another over the past few weeks.

I've read more than one book in Jon Land's Caitlin Strong series. They are always a good read. This one came to me directly from the publisher.

Caitlin Strong is a fifth generation Texas Ranger as quick with her wits as she is with her gun. Over the years she's taken on all manner of criminals and miscreants, thwarting the plans of villains to do vast damage to the country and state she loves. But none of that has prepared Caitlin for an investigation that pits her against ruthless billionaire oilman Calum Dane, whose genetically engineered pesticide may have poisoned a large swath of the state.

How that poisoning is connected to the disappearance of thirty high school students from a Houston prep school, including the son of her outlaw lover Cort Wesley Masters, presents Caitlin with the greatest and most desperate challenge of her career. As if that wasn't enough, she also has to deal with a crazed rancher whose entire herd of cattle has been picked clean to the bone by something science can't explain.

The common denominator between these apparently disparate events is a new and deadly enemy capable of destroying the US economy and killing millions, a foe it will take far more than bullets to bring down. There's yet another player in the deadly game Caitlin finds herself playing: Russian extremists prepared to seize an opportunity to win a war they never stopped fighting.

Caitlin's race to save the United States weaves through the present and the past, confronting her and Cort Wesley with the most powerful and dangerous enemies they've ever faced, human and otherwise. The Cold War hasn't just heated up; it's boiling over under the spill of a strong light only Caitlin can extinguish before it's too late.

This next one I picked up at the suggestion of a professional I met at a realtor's conference. Jan Hargrave spoke not only on how to detect if someone is lying, but also how to recognize personality differences. Not only was the information fascinating, Jan was hilarious.

Dweck explains why it’s not just our abilities and talent that bring us success—but whether we approach them with a fixed or growth mindset. She makes clear why praising intelligence and ability doesn’t foster self-esteem and lead to accomplishment, but may actually jeopardize success. With the right mindset, we can motivate our kids and help them to raise their grades, as well as reach our own goals—personal and professional. Dweck reveals what all great parents, teachers, CEOs, and athletes already know: how a simple idea about the brain can create a love of learning and a resilience that is the basis of great accomplishment in every area.

I borrowed the next two books from the library since I really am trying to read more on personal and professional development. Not sure when I will get to read them, but they are the next two books on my list.

Meatball Sundae is the definitive guide to the fourteen trends no marketer can afford to ignore. It explains what to do about the increasing power of stories, not facts; about shorter and shorter attention spans; and about the new math that says five thousand people who want to hear your message are more valuable than five million who don?t.

The winners aren't just annoying start-ups run by three teenagers who never had a real job. You'll also meet older companies that have adapted brilliantly, such as Blendtec, a thirty-year-old blender maker. It now produces: Will it blend? videos that demolish golf balls, Coke cans, iPhones, and much more. For a few hundred dollars, Blendtec reached more than ten million eager viewers on YouTube.

Godin doesn't pretend that it's easy to get your products, marketing messages, and internal systems in sync. But he'll convince you that it's worth the effort.

A tribe is any group of people, large or small, who are connected to one another, a leader, and an idea. For millions of years, humans have been seeking out tribes, be they religious, ethnic, economic, political, or even musical (think of the Deadheads). It's our nature.

Now the Internet has eliminated the barriers of geography, cost, and time. All those blogs and social networking sites are helping existing tribes get bigger. But more important, they're enabling countless new tribes to be born—groups of ten or ten thousand or ten million who care about their iPhones, or a political campaign, or a new way to fight global warming.

And so the key question: Who is going to lead us?

The Web can do amazing things, but it can't provide leadership. That still has to come from individuals—people just like you who have passion about something. The explosion in tribes means that anyone who wants to make a difference now has the tools at her fingertips.

If you think leadership is for other people, think again—leaders come in surprising packages. Consider Joel Spolsky and his international tribe of scary-smart software engineers. Or Gary Vaynerhuck, a wine expert with a devoted following of enthusiasts. Chris Sharma leads a tribe of rock climbers up impossible cliff faces, while Mich Mathews, a VP at Microsoft, runs her internal tribe of marketers from her cube in Seattle. All they have in common is the desire to change things, the ability to connect a tribe, and the willingness to lead.

If you ignore this opportunity, you risk turning into a "sheepwalker"—someone who fights to protect the status quo at all costs, never asking if obedience is doing you (or your organization) any good. Sheepwalkers don't do very well these days.

Tribes will make you think (really think) about the opportunities in leading your fellow employees, customers, investors, believers, hobbyists, or readers. . . . It's not easy, but it's easier than you think.

Also from the library, I picked up the sixth book in the Harry Potter series on CD.

When Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince opens, the war against Voldemort has begun. The Wizarding world has split down the middle, and as the casualties mount, the effects even spill over onto the Muggles. Dumbledore is away from Hogwarts for long periods, and the Order of the Phoenix has suffered grievous losses. And yet, as in all wars, life goes on.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione, having passed their O.W.L. level exams, start on their specialist N.E.W.T. courses. Sixth-year students learn to Apparate, losing a few eyebrows in the process. Teenagers flirt and fight and fall in love. Harry becomes captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, while Draco Malfoy pursues his own dark ends. And classes are as fascinating and confounding as ever, as Harry receives some extraordinary help in Potions from the mysterious Half-Blood Prince.

Most importantly, Dumbledore and Harry work together to uncover the full and complex story of a boy once named Tom Riddle-the boy who became Lord Voldemort. Like Harry, he was the son of one Muggle-born and one Wizarding parent, raised unloved, and a speaker of Parseltongue. But the similarities end there, as the teenaged Riddle became deeply interested in the Dark objects known as Horcruxes: objects in which a wizard can hide part of his soul, if he dares splinter that soul through murder.

Harry must use all the tools at his disposal to draw a final secret out of one of Riddle's teachers, the sly Potions professor Horace Slughorn. Finally Harry and Dumbledore hold the key to the Dark Lord's weaknesses... until a shocking reversal exposes Dumbledore's own vulnerabilities, and casts Harry's-and Hogwart's-future in shadow.

A friend of my donated some books to my church's tag sale, so I picked up the entire Myron Bolitar series by Harlan Coben. Here is the first book in the series.

Sports agent Myron Bolitar is poised on the edge of the big time. So is Christian Steele, a rookie quarterback and Myron’s prized client. But when Christian gets a phone call from a former girlfriend—a woman who everyone, including the police, believes is dead—the deal starts to go sour. Trying to unravel the truth about a family’s tragedy, a woman’s secret, and a man’s lies, Myron is up against the dark side of his business—where image and talent make you rich, but the truth can get you killed.

On Saturday, October 17, I attended the annual WriteAngles Conference at Mount Holyoke College. That's where I picked up the next two books.

Women today have more choices than at any time in history, yet many smart, ambitious, contemporary women are finding themselves angry, dissatisfied, stressed out. Why are they dissatisfied? And what do they really want? These questions form the premise of this passionate, provocative, funny, searingly honest collection of original essays in which twenty-six women writers—ranging in age from twenty-four to sixty-five, single and childless or married with children or four times divorced—invite readers into their lives, minds, and bedrooms to talk about the choices they’ve made, what’s working, and what’s not.

With wit and humor, in prose as poetic and powerful as it is blunt and dead-on, these intriguing women offer details of their lives that they’ve never publicly revealed before, candidly sounding off on:

• The difficult decisions and compromises of living with lovers, marrying, staying single and having children

• The perpetual tug of war between love and work, family and career

• The struggle to simultaneously care for ailing parents and a young family

• The myth of co-parenting

• Dealing with helpless mates and needy toddlers

• The constrictions of traditional women’s roles as well as the cliches of feminism

• Anger at laid-back live-in lovers content to live off a hardworking woman’s checkbook

• Anger at being criticized for one’s weight

• Anger directed at their mothers, right and wrong

• And–well–more anger...

I was going to get the children's version of this year's market guide, but someone snagged the 2016 copy and I didn't want to buy the 2015 one because I couldn't remember if I had the 2014 or 2015 one at home. So, I snagged the Writer's Market 2016 instead. That's fine since I am writing more than just children's stuff these days.

Finally, this seasonal book arrived directly from the publisher with two Christmas tales from Nancy Thayer.

A Nantucket Christmas

The Yuletide season’s wonderful traditions are much loved by Nicole Somerset, new to Nantucket and recently married to a handsome former attorney. But the cheerful mood is soon tempered by Nicole’s chilly stepdaughter, Kennedy, who arrives without a hint of holiday spirit. Determined to keep her stepmother at arm’s length—or, better yet, out of the picture altogether—Kennedy schemes to sabotage Nicole’s first Christmas with her new husband. Yet, in the season of miracles, holiday joy has a way of coming to all, both naughty and nice.

An Island Christmas

It’s Christmas time and Felicia has returned to her family’s home on the island to marry her rugged boyfriend, Archie. Every snow-dusted street and twinkling light is picture-perfect for a dream wedding. Except a lavish ceremony is not Felicia’s dream at all; it’s what her mother, Jilly, wants. Worried that her daughter’s life with daredevil Archie will be all hiking and skydiving, Jilly embarks on a secret matchmaking campaign for Felicia and their handsome neighbor Steven Hardy. With the arrival of Jilly’s older daughter, Lauren, fueling tensions, and the family careening toward a wedding disaster, an unexpected twist reminds everyone of the true meaning of the season.

What books have shown up in your mailbox lately?

Kindle Freebie: Priceless Proverbs by Kristi Porter

Priceless Proverbs Book 2 continues where book one left off - with over one hundred additional kid quotes and illustrations. It is the result of hundreds of interviews with young children ages three to twelve, who were presented with the first half of a famous saying or proverb and then asked to finish it themselves.

It began as part of a larger class project by teacher Kristi Porter and the children of Happi Kamper Child Care, located in North Muskegon, Michigan. Each child was to create an individual gift book for his or her parents, and Priceless Proverbs was simply to be one chapter in each child’s book.

Now, the individual answers of the Happi Kamper Kids, as well as those of the children at Community United Methodist Preschool, and Power Play Childcare in N. Muskegon have been combined. Their diverse, candid, and uncensored answers may surprise you, or even make you laugh out loud, as you get a quick glimpse into the amazing and intricate minds of some of the most delightful and fascinating children around. Enjoy!

File Size: 3901 KB
Print Length: 109 pages
Publisher: Happi Kamper Press (November 1, 2014)
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0692304185
ISBN-13: 978-0692304181
ASIN: B00O18L5GA

Purchase here!

Mailbox Monday - August 11

Mailbox Monday is a meme started by Marcia of To Be Continued. Mailbox Monday is the gathering place for readers to share the books that came in their mailbox during the last week. It now has a permanent home at the Mailbox Monday blog.

Warning: Mailbox Monday can lead to envy, toppling TBR piles, and humongous wish lists.

It was a busy week. I worked every day. Then on Friday night the girls went to the One Direction concert. Should have been my night off, but the hubby's car died and I had to go pick everyone up. Saturday, the family came over to celebrate the Lil' Diva's birthday, which is actually today. On Sunday, I had an open house and then joined the hubby, our son and daughter-in-law for the Def Leppard and KISS concert. I am tired.

In the mail I received an ARC of Nancy Thayer's latest through the Amazon VINE program.

Known for her heartwarming observations of family life, New York Times bestselling author Nancy Thayer showcases her beloved Nantucket’s snowy off-season in this emotionally gratifying and utterly entertaining story.

Holidays on this Massachusetts island are nothing short of magical, from the jolly decorations on the Brant Point lighthouse to the much anticipated Christmas Stroll, in which merrymakers promenade through quaint streets adorned with Yuletide cheer. The season’s wonderful traditions are much loved by Nicole Somerset, new to Nantucket and recently married to a handsome former attorney. Their home is already full of enticing scents of pine, baking spices, and homemade pie.

But the warm, festive mood is soon tempered by Nicole’s chilly stepdaughter, Kennedy, who arrives without a hint of holiday spirit. Determined to keep her stepmother at arms’ length—or, better yet, out of the picture altogether—Kennedy schemes to sabotage Nicole’s holiday preparations. Nicole, however, is not about to let anyone or anything tarnish her first Christmas with her new husband.

Nancy Thayer’s wonderful tale reminds us that this is the season of miracles. Before the gifts are unwrapped, surprise visitors appear, and holiday joy comes to all, both naughty and nice.

I also picked up these two Kindle freebies.

Lucy Banning may live on the exclusive Prairie Avenue among Chicago's rich and famous, but her heart lies elsewhere. Expected to marry an up-and-coming banker from a respected family, Lucy fears she will be forced to abandon her charity work--and the classes she is secretly taking at the newly opened University of Chicago. When she meets an unconventional young architect who is working on plans for the upcoming 1893 World's Fair, Lucy imagines a life lived on her own terms. Can she break away from her family's expectations? And will she ever be loved for who she truly is?

Readers will love being swept away into a world of mansions, secrets, and romance as they follow Lucy through the streets of the Windy City during one of the most exciting times in the city's history. From opulent upper-class homes to the well-worn rooms of an orphanage, Olivia Newport breathes life and romance into the pages of history--and everyone is invited.

Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.

At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead?

Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator.

To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One.

Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.

What came in your mailbox?

Mailbox Monday - May 19

Mailbox Monday is a meme started by Marcia of To Be Continued. Mailbox Monday is the gathering place for readers to share the books that came in their mailbox during the last week. It now has a permanent home at the Mailbox Monday blog.

Warning: Mailbox Monday can lead to envy, toppling TBR piles, and humongous wish lists.

My post is going up in the afternoon. Does that tell you what kind of week it is? We spent yesterday with family in Marlboro, so I'm a bit behind today. But we had a lovely day, so that's all that matters.

Other things on tap this week: the Lil' Diva's rehearsals for Peter Pan Jr, the Lil' Princess starts physical therapy for a repetitive motion injury to her ankle, and I'm whittling down the brokerage firms I potentially want to work for soon. I'm also putting together the following virtual book tours. Let me know if you see anything interesting:

Tactics, Trends, and Traits of the Enemy by Jermaine Gadson. Click here for more info.
The Stolen Herd by K. Madill (YA fantasy). Click here for more info.
Rebuilding Civilization on the Bible BOOK BLITZ with Dr. Jay Grimstead. Click here.
When Shmack Happens: The Making of a Spiritual Champion by Amber Neben. Amber is a decorated international road cyclist. Click here.

Now, onto my new books. I had one of those weeks where I simply couldn't pass up free Kindle books despite telling myself that I simply shouldn't buy anymore.

Things are going great for Lexy Baker. She's finally opened her dream bakery, gotten rid of her cheating boyfriend and settled into her grandmothers house with her perky dog Sprinkles at her side.

But her blissful life doesn't last long. When her ex boyfriend is found poisoned with cupcakes from her bakery, Lexy finds herself in the middle of a murder investigation headed up by her hunky neighbor detective Jack Perillo.

With the help of a gang of iPad toting, would-be detective grandmothers, Lexy decides to take it upon herself to find the real murderer in order to clear her name and get her bakery back in business.

As things heat up on the murder trail, in the kitchen and between Lexy and the hunky detective, it's a race against time to put the real murderer behind bars and get back to baking.

Will Lexy get her man? (Still free right now.)

Avery Lane is driven to discover the fate of the 117 missing colonists of Roanoke. When she encounters a mysterious group called the Descendants, who are determined to keep the colony’s secret hidden, Avery must choose between her obsession for the past and her own survival. Will solving this mystery cost her everything? Is there more to this secret than what is buried at Roanoke? Haunted by visions of the past, she must find answers before the Descendants stop her and forever banish the truth. (Currently $4.99)

NEW ENGLAND WITCH CHRONICLES is the first book in the four-book bestselling young adult series. The Salem Witch Trials of 1692 were an embarrassing stain on America’s revered past. Innocent people were persecuted at the hands of a few overzealous Puritans, but what if real witches existed during those colonial hunts? What if there are witches in present day New England? That’s what Alexandria Ramsey’s crazy grandmother believes. Grandma Claudia claims Alex descends from a long line of New England witches.

Modern day witches in Hazel Cove, Massachusetts? Unlikely, but strange things are occurring in the weeks preceding Alex’s seventeenth birthday. Alex is haunted by bizarre recurring nightmares of a man chasing her through the Hazel Cove Cemetery. On a few occasions, when her emotions have spiraled out of control, inanimate objects have shattered around her. But that’s just a coincidence, right? Alex isn’t so sure, especially after a local girl, who supposedly dabbled in witchcraft, was killed in the nearby forest.

Alex knows something strange is happening. With the arrival of a new boy in town, James Van Curen, who is causing problems between Alex and her best friend, Peter, Alex feels like her entire world is on the verge of chaos. Could Alex really be a witch? Is it possible Hazel Cove will become a battleground for modern-day witches and witch hunters? (Still free right now.)


This last one I requested for review from the author for his virtual book tour.

Read me...Read me...Read me and be hypnotized by me. Let your intellectual nipple be open and free so I may tickle it. You may ask yourself in reading this, “Where exactly is my intellectual nipple?” Then you may say to yourself, “Well, if I don’t know where my intellectual nipple is then I guess I’m not very intellectual,” and you would be right, you aren’t. But the intellectual nipple is quite elusive and ironic, and it is just that last thought that may help you to discover your intellectual nipple. Cary Smith will take you on a ride down his life and mind (and it won’t be as creepy as it sounds). Along the way you may giggle, you may hate, you may love, and most likely in the amount of time it will take you to read this book, you will fart...this book does not consider itself prestigious or boring enough to deny that fact. Cary Smith will guide you along the way to possibly having your intellectual nipple tickled. Brad Cruise will uninvitingly add stuff to the text and make corrections as a special guest corrector. And most importantly, your intellectual nipple will be tickled, maybe? And according to Brad Cruise, the key to finding out where your intellectual nipple is is to realize that Cary Smith is poop and a writer not worthy of the very worthy literary world which sometimes makes people very sleepy. Once you have this realization your intellectual nipple will bask in tickling pleasure. (That is, if you consider tickling to be pleasurable, because many people don’t, and, in fact, many find it torturous.) Just a warning from this summary: if you do find out where your intellectual nipple is (as everyone’s intellectual nipple is not in the same place), it is recommended that you not tickle it too much unless you’ve had a few cocktails. If you just read this summary and said, “What in the hell?” then you are on your way to a discovery of the elusive intellectual nipple. This summary has exhausted itself and is tired of saying, “The elusive intellectual nipple.” Please enjoy The Book, hate it very, very much, or go somewhere in the middle with your opinion of it.

What was in your mailbox?

Guest Post: That’s Not What I Ordered: Trials of Online Purse Shopping by Rachael Cherry

You would think that purse shopping would be easy, but you would be wrong. I have had the same old boring purse for well over a year now and was looking for a change. Something a bit more fashionable and yet still practical. I perused the local stores to no avail, so I turned to online shopping. That is when things got tough.

First of all, I had to figure out what size purse I want. In the store I can pick them up, look at the zippers, try them on and see how they hang on my shoulder. I have no idea how many inches they are or how long of a strap I need.

The very first time I ordered a cute purse online, I judged it just its looks. It was pretty and had a good price. Why not? When I got it, over a month later I might add, it was cute. And tiny. A date purse, yes. A daily purse? No. Sigh. Back to the drawing board.

I decided I needed to get some general size in mind, so I measured my current purse. Okay, now I could start. I kept the price down low and looked for a suitable color and style. I don’t know why, but an orange color appealed to me. It seemed trendy and yet long lasting.

Anyway, I found a purse that might work and ordered it. It came a week or two later, much better, but the box seemed a little large.

What did I find when I opened the box? The world’s ugliest purse. The size of a gym bag, dark red-purple and with rivets all over it. The empty purse weighed more than my full to exploding purse did! I joked that I could at least use it to defend myself if I was ever attacked by a sword wielding manic, but I was not happy.
After communicating with the seller, who offered to replace the purse at no charge, I was left with this thing in my possession. They did not even want it back. But what am I going to do with the monstrosity? All I can think of is that it will make a great white elephant gift… or maybe I’ll give it to someone with… dubious… taste.

Rachael Cherry is a wife, mother, and writer who is passionate about helping connect families in need with high quality caregivers. She has taken that passion and put it to work through NannyPro, a respected online nanny referral service. Learn more by visiting @NannyPro on Twitter.