Obviously, I'm still here. I saw this post on Facebook several times over the past few weeks, and I thought it might help lighten the heavy load of what I wanted to talk about today.
The tragic events that transpired at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT last Friday have captured worldwide attention. The senseless loss of life, especially when the majority of the victims were small children, leaves one wondering how we move forward. Do we need stricter gun control laws? Should armed police officers be posted in every school? How can we better manage care for the mentally ill?
My heart breaks for those families who are spending time saying goodbye to loved ones during a season meant to be marked by peace and joy. As a parent, I can imagine some of what these people are going through, but I cannot even begin to comprehend how an entire community will heal from this vicious attack.
I blogged today at Christian Children's Authors about anxiety. After Sandy Hook I was anxious when my children returned to school on Monday. My husband and I weren't sure how our school district would handle discussing--or not discussing--what happened that day with the students. The Lil Diva (11) had a field trip to Boston, and my mind raced considering all the possibilities of what "might" happen to her while she was away. When I dropped the Lil Princess (9) off at school Monday for her violin lessons (an hour before school was actually in session), I made sure to watch her every step of the way, and make sure the door was closed and locked behind her before I pulled away in my truck. Before last Friday, the door was usually wedged open so the students could come in without having to ring the buzzer. And while I always waited to make sure she was inside, I needed to watch that door fully close and know it was locked before I could leave her.
The Lil Diva usually calls me when she's on the way home, so I can pick her up at the bus stop. She hadn't remembered to charge her cell phone, so she couldn't call me Tuesday afternoon. I only made it through about 10 minutes of waiting before I called a friend looking for her. I used to complain that she wouldn't walk home the three-quarters of a mile each afternoon. Now, I would rather pick her up. Once I see her, I know she's okay.
If this is how I feel, not even directly impacted by what happened in Newtown, how much greater must the anxiety be for the people of that community and the surrounding areas? How do the victims' classmates and the remaining teachers ever get their lives back to some semblance of normal? I feel the same way when I hear of children being abducted. It's a wonder we don't all lock ourselves in our houses and pray nothing bad ever happens to us.
It's only knowing God is in control that keeps me from being a nervous wreck. And honestly, it's still tough to give my worries up to God and feel comfortable with the kids being away. That's part of how the Sandy Hook Massacre has changed me. One week ago, I was happily preparing for Christmas, and now I feel guilty if I play Christmas music. How can I experience joy when these families are suffering so greatly?
In time, a long time from now, we might remember what life was like before we heard of Sandy Hook. For now, we must do our best to help the victims' families and pray our leaders will work together to prevent such tragedies in the future.
