People don’t make up things like that for fun.
That’s what Jane’s therapist tells her when Jane reports fragmentary memories from her childhood that hint at sexual abuse. A busy, successful scientist, Jane at first fights the implications, but finally has to admit that something indeed happened. With help from a gifted therapist as well as creative arts, Jane taps into her own aliveness and reconciles with both her parents’ love and their betrayal.
This deeply personal memoir invites the reader behind the closed doors of the therapist’s office and into the author’s journal and her very body. Jane’s tender story shows how we can use the challenges of painful childhood traumas to transform our lives.
Read the excerpt!
Chapter 1: Pandora’s Box
The memory emerged from a dim corner of my mind, jolting me awake. It was a humid morning in August. The air flowed softly through the bedroom window, bringing in a catbird’s song from the cherry tree just outside. I sat up in bed and propped a pillow behind me, grabbed my spiral-bound journal from its place on the bedside table, and began scribbling:
I am three or four and I hurt between my legs. I’m perched on the toilet in the big bathroom in our house at Shell Beach. The door is opposite me and the light streams in from the window on my right.
I feel the sting when I pee. My mother says that I slipped in the bathtub and fell on the bathtub rim. I have no memory of anything that caused the hurt, but I know I don’t believe her story of how it happened.
Fear sank claws into my stomach. I wondered what had happened and who had hurt me.
No way. Surely not. Not my father. I don’t know how to tell what’s true. I don’t want to make things up.
This was Revelation Day, the day that started me on a long journey into my past. How did it happen that a 52-year-old woman suddenly woke up to the possibility of long-ago abuse? What had kept the issues at bay so long? Why could the past now grab me by the throat?
Read the Reviews!
“A powerful and sensitive portrayal, full of insight into Jane’s own confusion as well as her family’s bewildering dynamics. The writing is by turns lyrical and gut-wrenching, angry and tender. This inspiring, important book shows that healing and joy are possible after childhood abuse.”
—Marilyn Van Derbur, author of the bestselling Miss America By Day
“A brave and inspirational book. Jane Rowan has made an important contribution to our understanding of child sexual abuse and healing, affirming that we can transform trauma into lives filled with peace and joy.”
—Ellen Bass, co-author of bestseller The Courage to Heal
“With astonishing bravery and eloquent voice, Jane Rowan explores what it is to be haunted by memories of childhood abuse so long and so deeply buried that you must fight to believe them true. Her work honors scars long hidden and offers hope for healing. Her book is a gift that dares to render clarity from childhood chaos.”
-Martin Moran, author of The Tricky Part
"Sharing with us the story through poetry, dreams and narration, we are taken upon a journey with a family that loves even though the horrors are long forgotten. As we all know, the truth always prevails and the strength and courage Jane Rowan shares with the reader will leave you heartbroken at times."
--One Day at a Time
Purchase The River of Forgetting at:
Jane's website: http://riverofforgetting.com/
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/River-Forgetting-Memoir-Healing-Sexual/dp/0981583024/
Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/River-Forgetting-Memoir-Healing-ebook/dp/B004JN0XP6/
Barnes & Noble & Nook: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-River-of-Forgetting/Jane-Rowan/e/9780981583020/?itm=1&USRI=jane+rowan+river
Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/39190
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